How to Control Your Anger Before it Controls You?

Have you ever found yourself in a situation, when you have lost all sense of self-control? All of you must have gone through such situation … Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy and natural human emotion. But, if proper anger management is not taken care of, It can get out of control. It may become problematic when it leads to aggression, outbursts, or even physical altercations. Anger may become destructive and can lead to problems in different areas of your life; such as problems at work, in the personal relationships, acceptance in society and in the overall quality of your life. You should learn how to control it — before it controls you.

“If you remain patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow” ~ Chinese Proverb

Anger management is of utmost importance to you avoid saying or doing something that you may regret later.

What is Anger?

Anger is a extremely powerful human emotion; which comes out when you are frustrated, hurt, annoyed, or disappointed. Like any other emotion, it conveys the feelings, a message, telling you that a situation is unjust, upsetting, or threatening.

The Bhagavad-Gita describes the anger in Chapter 2, Verse 63 as under

क्रोधाद्भवति सम्मोह: सम्मोहात्स्मृतिविभ्रम: |
स्मृतिभ्रंशाद् बुद्धिनाशो बुद्धिनाशात्प्रणश्यति ||63||

krodhād bhavati sammohaḥ sammohāt smṛiti-vibhramaḥ
smṛiti-bhranśhād buddhi-nāśho buddhi-nāśhāt praṇaśhyati

Meaning : Anger leads to clouding of judgment, which results in bewilderment of the memory. When the memory is bewildered, the intellect gets destroyed; and when the intellect is destroyed, one is ruined.

Effects of anger

Like other human emotions, Anger is accompanied by biological and physiological changes.  When you get angry, your heart beat increases and blood pressure go up; as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline. Anger needs to be taken care and controlled. There are severe effects of unmanaged anger on the various aspects of your life.

• Physical health – The short and long-term serious consequences on your physical health include: high blood pressure , headache, migraines, digestion problems, skin problems, diabetes, a weakened immune system, insomnia, hypertension, increased risk of stroke and heart disease.
• Mental health – People who gets habitually angry develop several mental illness issues. It can lead to stress, increased anxiety, mood swings, depression, and other mental health problems.
• Relationships –  Uncontrolled anger can ruin and destroy your closest relationships. It is especially damaging to spouse and children. Impulsive anger makes it difficult for friends and relatives to trust you, feel comfortable, or speak honestly.  They get afraid of your behavior and start avoiding you.
• Professional life – Anger at workplace makes you less desirable and promotable employee. Due to your impulsive nature important responsibilities are not assigned. Your boss, colleagues, subordinates, customers and other stakeholders may have wrong perceptions about you. You may face criticism and it may destroy your overall growth in career.

Anger Management

Anger management to deal with your anger issues; involves a range of skills that will help you in recognizing the signs of anger and handling triggers in a positive way. You must identify the anger at an early stage and express your needs or expectations remaining cool, calm and in control. Here are the techniques & tips of anger management.

Get out of the scene

If you are too short tempered and find yourself in a situation when you feel too much angry; then it is most important for you not to get involved in any debate because you may lose your temper. It would be better that you get out of that place and take a small break from the situation. In this way, when you and the other person become calm, you can start your discussion again.

Reverse counting

When you feel that you are angry, you should first calm down and take a deep breath instead of reacting first. Then start reverse counting from 10 to 1. It may be sounding you something childish, but its very powerful tool to divert you emotions and control your anger. This will give you some time to think and understand the situation.

Identify the trigger of Anger

The most important thing to deal with anger is to find out the trigger or stimulus which generates the emotions of anger. This will vary from person to person; the thing which causes me to get mad; may not trigger your anger emotions. The situation or circumstances, in which you are not able to manage your emotions, may be comfortable to me and I may remain cool and calm in those tough situations. Understand the circumstances and the causes and work on those weak points. Learn to manage those trigger points. Stimulus control and avoidance of triggering factor are also useful here.

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. ~ Mark Twain

Better Communication

Communication skills are one of the key factors provoking anger to others. When there is a heated discussion; slow down and think through your responses. Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

Sleep well

Sometimes due to work exigency, you may not sleep properly. It results in biological and psychological changes in your body. Headaches, tension and irritation begin to occur, and you shout and scream on others. Ensure you spare 7-8 hours from your busy routine to sleep because the 7-8 hours sleep is essential for good health.

Exercise and Meditation controls anger

Try to reduce your level of anger with exercise and relaxation. Some exercises like swimming, morning walk and yoga can control it. In the fresh air of morning, staying with nature for some time, practicing deep meditation will also ease the mind and will be very beneficial in controlling anger. Incorporate exercise, meditation and yoga in your daily life and you will be much balanced emotionally as well as physically.

Enhance Problem Solving Skills

Try to enhance your problem solving skills. Lack of problem solving skills may be one of the reasons for your angry temperament. Skills to solve the various types of problems are necessary because often it becomes the sources of frustration and causing anger.

Change the environment

This is all about modifying the anger provoking situation such by giving break to one self, arranging for personal time during the stressful situations, keeping silent for few minutes, or making some rules to prevent anger provoking situations and control one self for better ways of coping with the existing problems. It will help you in better anger management.

In short, an angry temperament revolves around all human beings. So recognize the causes of your anger and try to control it. Once you try, then you yourself will feel that the relationship becomes so beautiful due to the disappearance of anger.

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