How to Deal with Loneliness or Feeling of Lonely?

The world is getting more connected than ever before with Facebook, Whats-app and twitter kind of social apps. The transportation facilities are ensuring covering miles in shorter times. You may go and meet with your friends and families. The places have become more crowded when you look around due to constant increase in population across the geographies. But many of us feel increasingly lonely day by day. Loneliness may be biggest threat to mental health today.

According to a international survey – “Loneliness and Social Isolation in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Japan”, these countries are experiencing a “loneliness epidemic”. More than a one fifth of adults in the United States (22 percent) and the United Kingdom (23 percent) as well as one in ten adults (nine percent) in Japan say they often or always feel lonely, feel that they lack companionship, feel left out, or feel isolated from others, and many of them say their loneliness has had a negative impact on various aspects of their life.

What is loneliness?

Loneliness is a complex and usually an unpleasant emotional response to isolation. or being alone. It is unhappiness that someone feel because he/she do not have any friends or do not have anyone to talk to. It includes anxious and bitter feelings about a lack of connection or communication with other beings.

Are you lonely or just alone?

Now before moving forward I would like to ask you is “Are you lonely or just alone?” These two are different and many times people get confused being alone with loneliness. Alone is state of being or body, whereas loneliness is state of Mind.

One of the most innovative, creative and talented individuals in American history Orson Welles quoted,

“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone”

We are all alone. It is just few people making their life miserable by being lonely.

Is loneliness a mental health issue?

Though loneliness is not currently classed as a mental health issue, but it’s serious issue and should be taken care of as soon as identified.  According to Psychology Today, It has ability to trigger commonly recognized mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, hoarding and addiction. The link between mental health and loneliness is increasingly in the spotlight, with the charity Mind reporting that one impacts the other.

Constant loneliness is emotionally lameness and it might even damage both your physical as well as mental health. In due course of time people go under depression, sleep less, develop anxiety disorders and fear and situation get worsen day by day.

Causes of Loneliness

According to different researches and experiences of mental health practitioners the main causes of loneliness includes genetics, physical isolation, moving to a new location, and divorce. The death of someone close and significant in a person’s life can also lead to feelings of loneliness. Additionally, it can be a symptom of a psychological disorder such as depression. One of the reason of Loneliness can also be low self esteem. People who have lack of confidence often believe that they are unworthy of the attention or respect of other people. This can lead to isolation and chronic loneliness.

How to deal with loneliness ?

Loneliness causes people to feel empty, alone, and unwanted. There are ways to deal with loneliness and one can come out of such situation steadily.

Improve social skills

Improve your inter- personal skills or social skills. The route cause of the problem is people have difficulty in connecting with people. Learn how to communicate with people, give compliments and speak on phone or video chat. By improving your social skills, you will feel more engaged and involved with people.

Increase closeness

You feel lonely even thought you have good number of friend then, it might be a reason that your personality is Introvert. The other reason may be your social circle has quantity but not the quality. You have so many friends but there are very few who are really close to you and you enjoy the company of those few only.

Spend less time online

The reason which has evolved in last decade only is too much activeness on Social Media. If you spend too much time on social networks, you live in virtual life. Social life shows only brighter part of people, everyone puts an idealized form of themselves on social media and making others feel inferior, and if you constantly compare your life to those you see online, you’re bound to feel lonely and dissatisfied. You don’t have real friends and even still you have few, you don’t have time for them as you spend your time online. Spend less time online and make few real and trustworthy friends.

Adopt a pet

Try to find help from a non-human “friend.” Adopt a cute pet, may be a cat or a dog. A furry cat or dog will cheer you up.  You may find good friend on your bookshelf. Read self help books. One must do such experiments in life and see how things get transformed gradually.

Mindfulness for Loneliness Thoughts

Make mindfulness meditation a part of your daily life. Practice to be mindful of your “Loneliness Thoughts”. Remember that loneliness is a state of mind not a reality. Yes, as i mentioned earlier being alone for long periods of time can naturally stimulate feelings of loneliness, but do not get carried away by those feelings and begin to feel certain that you are destined to be lonely.

Try to be aware about your thoughts of loneliness as they pass, and remind yourself that you don’t necessarily have to buy into the idea of loneliness. A great way to become more aware of your thoughts, and learn to let them go when needed to practice mindfulness meditation.

Nurture you hobby

Work on your hobby; find out people with similar interest and hobbies. Join a club or picnic group, meet with new people, interact with them, invite them for a cup of coffee at home. If you don’t like partying and spend time alone think of things you always wanted to do, spend time on singing, painting, dancing and other hobbies.

Mental health professional

As I mentioned earlier Loneliness that persists for long time can be linked to depression, anxiety, and increased risk of other mental health problems. If feelings of loneliness are affecting your day to day life, consider reaching out to a mental health professional.

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